"i cant wait to hate you"

i still find myself wondering how i got myself in so deep with her..people are walking in and out of the room so im trying not to cry..plus im not in the mood to cry honestly. i wish that it were physically possible for me to turn off my emotions and forget everything thats happend dealing with her for the past few months.. for the first time, i actually gave someone all of me..every part and even parts that i didnt show the last woman that i was in love with.. sadly enough --yes, i was in love with you.. and i hate myself ..I shouldve listened when people told me to turn away.. I shouldve known that even the slightest thing to happen and you'd up and leave..my sisters keep telling me that everything is going to be okay..that eventually the pain will subside but im in dire need of it to be over now.. I cant handle this anymore ... part of me feels like ive died..

so everyone is sitting around me..ive got to end this before i end up in tears..
but i swear.. i cant wait for the day that i can see your face and be okay..hear your
name and not even flinch.. listen to random songs and not feel so much pain..I cant
wait to hate you..