18 November 2009

Kiss my pain away--

she says she wants to be the one for me..the beginning to the end and everything in between..she says she loves me..i think she loves the idea of having a beautiful woman
on her arm..but the thing that drives the hell out of me is the fact that she doesnt get it.

it can be so easy for one to move forward when they were never in love in the first place
but for someone that actually was in love, its harder. am i still in love? -im not sure. do i
still love her? -yes i do. do i want to get back together with her? -no. because after all of
the underhanded things that ive heard that she's done behind my back, i dont and refuse
to trust a person like that. was i perfect? -damn near. with 1 slight situation; if i couldve
used my words wiser, i wouldve.

id love to be able to let someone kiss my pain away but the truth is, my wall is up and
heavily guarded. im sure thats why she called me bitter [laughs]. im having to relearn
who i am to get back to my happy place. i hate how badly this has affected me and the
fact that im unable to just be like "fuck this-she's moved on..so will I..". its quite sad
honestly but i know that my day will come.

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